whats up

hmmmm. so lets start off by mentioning that it was my birthday three weeks ago, which is 7th may for those who are wondering. and before you ask which year, i will tell you that its every year. heee heee ;)

so i was wondering about my birthday last year and this year. the difference was pretty huge. last year there was a huge party, with lots of cake (eaten and thrown). this year was very sedate. got the usual phone calls, but spent the evening by myself at my favorite restaurant
(legal sea foods, if you must know), and then just went for a long walk.

the other thing was that last year i got some 50 e-mails wishing me happy b'day. most of it was thanks to this thing called orkut, which i was very in to in those days (ok im sorry, i'll never do it again). actually i thought it was pretty cool (embarrased blush) because it has all these communities where you can go and meet up with people and discuss stuff. there was this india community which i used to post stuff on, but after a point the loonies took over the asylum and it became pretty crappy. also i knew very few people on it, but got added by like 100 guys. at first i was flattered, but then i figured it was just a bunch of losers trying to hit on anything with a female name. ok, i sound bitter, but then i expect better of people. anyway, so this orkut thing flashes you a message when someones b'day is apporaching and then you can go and post a message on this thing called a scrapbook. so i got many such wishes, and was a teensy weensy bit pleased at it all, but then other stuff happened. but i'll rant about orkut in a later post. theres just too much to say about the shitty thing.

so this year i got some twelve mails and three phone calls. one of which i didn't take. more on that later. so my b'day passed unnoticed just like those of so many others.

to tell the truth, my feelings were mixed. this is definitely the most alone ive been on a birthday, even though i'm solitary by nature. something seemed... not right. im not saying it was abad thing, but it just seemed strange that there wasnt more excitement. on the other hand, though last years party was a blast, i really cant do that stuff too much. i couldnt do it earlier, and now its just impossible. i can get into the swing of things once things pick up (see my previous posts), but my first instinct is always to shy away from large gatherings. so this was more enjoyable, though im not sure thats the right word.

and of course i was relieved that my carpet didnt have gooey icing smeared all over it. especially since ive moved into this place only a month ago. and that i didnt have to spend a week washing coke out of my hair. those kids can be sooooo boisterous. and i felt even older watching them. like some den mother overseeing a picnic. i even scolded the spiky twins in a very headmistress kind of way. but that didnt stop one of them (i think it was the brownhaired one, i can never tell) from coming on to me big time, which was so funny i actually laughed at him. poor chap. maybe i was bringing back memories of the first grade teacher he had a crush on. actually... i think it was the top i was wearing which no first grade teacher would touch. but then thats what it always is with guys, hmppph.

well one thing that i seem to have realised through all of this (and otherwise) is that guys are just shallow. shallow, shallow, shallow.

there i go generalising again. but who cares, this is my belated birthday present to myself. the right to be a judgemntal bitch for a day. so there.