unpatriotic me?
having banished my pesky brother back to the midwest, my computer is free and i now have more time to surf. mainly news sites (and blogs, of course)
so i glanced on this in the telegraph. just reading through it made me angry. no, not angry really but exasperated. i just felt like screaming out 'enough already!'. i have seen things like this first hand, but after spending 3 years in the US, and just seeing how things are run here, i am much less tolerant about such behavior than i used to be. i am ashamed to admit now that there was a time when a month of no classes was greeted by happiness and not regret. arnab explains this very well.
and its not just calcutta i am frustrated by. blog-friend hemangini wrote about a traumatic train journey to chennai. reading the comments i see that every woman who grew up in india has her own little story to add on to it, her own little moment of helplessness and disgust, and sometimes even shame, even though she had done nothing to be ashamed of.
again, i think of my life over the last 3 years. of being able to travel in a train without feeling like i need a bath everytime i get off. of policemen who are truly there for your protection, and of men who know exactly where they get off.
and thats not all. theres a girl who gets raped in marine drive, and a college principal who blames everything on 'skimpy' clothes, and a blogger who things all this is somehow good. everytime i read the indian papers i see something that makes me angry at my countrymen. that makes me fill up with a feeling of hopelessness that theres nothing anyone can do. and over time i feel resignation. almost like i am disconnected from that world, and that they can go to hell for all i care.
this really scares me because deep down i feel prooud to be indian. but am i really? in three years i will have spent more of my life in the usa than in india. and i like the usa. i like its safety and comforts. i like living my life at my pace. but most of all i like living in a country that takes care of me. i know its selfish, and i know what jfk said, but i'm sorry. today i feel i owe more to the usa than to india, even though it is my homeland. and its even sadder because when i came here, i genuinely wanted to go back in a few years, because india was home. i dont genuinely want that anymore.
i know most of you will agree. you will say that these are material things. ties to the homeland are stronger than that. i agree, but i value these material things. here i have work, resources, friends, independence, security and comfort. there i have only patriotism. i dont think its enough.
so i glanced on this in the telegraph. just reading through it made me angry. no, not angry really but exasperated. i just felt like screaming out 'enough already!'. i have seen things like this first hand, but after spending 3 years in the US, and just seeing how things are run here, i am much less tolerant about such behavior than i used to be. i am ashamed to admit now that there was a time when a month of no classes was greeted by happiness and not regret. arnab explains this very well.
and its not just calcutta i am frustrated by. blog-friend hemangini wrote about a traumatic train journey to chennai. reading the comments i see that every woman who grew up in india has her own little story to add on to it, her own little moment of helplessness and disgust, and sometimes even shame, even though she had done nothing to be ashamed of.
again, i think of my life over the last 3 years. of being able to travel in a train without feeling like i need a bath everytime i get off. of policemen who are truly there for your protection, and of men who know exactly where they get off.
and thats not all. theres a girl who gets raped in marine drive, and a college principal who blames everything on 'skimpy' clothes, and a blogger who things all this is somehow good. everytime i read the indian papers i see something that makes me angry at my countrymen. that makes me fill up with a feeling of hopelessness that theres nothing anyone can do. and over time i feel resignation. almost like i am disconnected from that world, and that they can go to hell for all i care.
this really scares me because deep down i feel prooud to be indian. but am i really? in three years i will have spent more of my life in the usa than in india. and i like the usa. i like its safety and comforts. i like living my life at my pace. but most of all i like living in a country that takes care of me. i know its selfish, and i know what jfk said, but i'm sorry. today i feel i owe more to the usa than to india, even though it is my homeland. and its even sadder because when i came here, i genuinely wanted to go back in a few years, because india was home. i dont genuinely want that anymore.
i know most of you will agree. you will say that these are material things. ties to the homeland are stronger than that. i agree, but i value these material things. here i have work, resources, friends, independence, security and comfort. there i have only patriotism. i dont think its enough.
posted by Vishnupriya @ 12:35 AM
7 comments
