Poison Pen

don't worry, she doesn't bite anymore.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

yet another tag

ooooh, another tag. now im really starting to feel like a clothing store :). anyway, this is a tag by tablemannered and its about the ideal lover. so heres what i have to do.

The rules of the tag being (simply copy-pasting from her blog):
1. The tagged victim has to come up with 8 different points of their perfect lover.
2. You have to mention the sex of the target.
3. Tag 8 victims to join this game and leave a comment on their comments saying they've been tagged.
4. If tagged the 2nd time, there's no need to post again.


so, the first thing that came to mind when i started composing this post was, whether my checklist would have been different had i received this tag in november. for those who dont know, i have recently started seeing someone, and so i wonder whether i can be perfectly unbiased in this exercise.

anyway, here's my list of 8 criteria. whether A satisfies any or all of them is something im not revealing. im treating this totally as a thought experiment. so here i go.

oh, first off, i have to mention that the target's male (no, reeeeeally???)

and now, the 8 qualities.

1. must be a connoisseur of food.

this is clearly the most important criterion. any man who thinks that the sole purpose of eating is to stay alive, is immediately struck off my list. he needs to know the difference between pesto and pasta, needs to have broad enough tastes to enjoy both well-cooked shorshey ilish and sashimi, and needs to be adventurous enough to constantly want to experiment with food. he shouldn't turn his nose up at the thought of eating anything. if a place has baked eel as its specialty, then he must not make a face when i order it. in fact, since he's ideal, he should order one himself, and then be able to comment on the preparation.

oh, there's more. but i think i'll make that a new point.

2. should enjoy cooking.

its a kind of an overlap, but just to be clear, i dont really want someone who likes to eat out every single day. i love to just sit at home, and i dont want to have to eat ramen whenever i decide im not going out. i also enjoy cooking, so i could cook for myself, but he needs to share here. and he shouldnt only be able to scramble eggs. if need be, he should be able to make a full meal (and it needs to be edible) on his own. and it would be still better if he's the kind who likes to always help out in the kitchen. nothing says team player better.

3. should understand the concept of private time.

this is kind of important. ever so often, i feel like i want to be alone. its not like i go into a sulk or anything. its just that i need to be by myself. at times like that i need him to understand and just carry on with his life. also, its not like i do this often, so he really shouldnt complain.

4. should have good personal hygiene.

now when it comes to the looks department, im not incredibly picky. im not particularly sold on the metrosexual man concept either, so it doesnt bother me if his hair isn't gelled perfectly into place all the time, or if his shoes dont match his shirt. BUT it is absolutely essential for him to be neat and clean. i have no fascination for unwashed cavemen. if you cant take a bath every day, thats not sexy, thats just yucky. teeth must be brushed, beards trimmed and hair cut to a manageable length. if you cant manage that, then youre just a slob. and i dont do slobs.

5. must be a non-smoker.

now this is not a judgmental thing. even though i dont smoke, im pretty tolerant of people who do. i have many friends who light up whenever they get a chance, and ive got used to the smell of burnt tobacco thanks to my dad. but on the other hand, i dont have to kiss my friends. and theres nothing i find more disgusting than a mouth full of smoky aftertaste. brushing does not help, neither do mints. im sorry, but im just sensitive. its between me and the cancer sticks. pick one.

6. should be taller than me.

ok, this sounds a little shallow, i admit. and i guess its something that i could quite easily learn to live without if the other criteria were met. but since we're talking about ideals, i'll say it. i get self conscious when im in public with shorter guys. i keep feeling the need to slouch, and something as simple as putting an arm around him while walking becomes awkward. so yes, he needs to be taller than 5'8" (which is my height, in case you missed it).

7. must respect women.

and yeah, this is very very general, but i mean it. and im going to be very strict on this one. so that means no calling other girls sluts in my presence, no leering, not even at the women on baywatch. and even when in the presence of other guys, he is not allowed to discuss women like they were pieces of meat. if he does, i will be rude. to him and everyone else. ive been told im not a good sport, but im sorry, thats the way i am, and he has to live with this.

8. has to read the news.

the last thing i want is for a bunch of our friends to get together and discuss the war in iraq, and for him to say "chalabi, who?". he doesnt need to have an encyclopedic knowledge, but an overview of whats happening in the world is essential. he doesnt need to have an opinion on everything, but he should be able to contribute to any intelligent conversation, whether with me, or with a big group of people.

ta da. that was easier than i thought :D

so now i have to tag 8 people. hmmm. since i see its mainly spreading among the women bloggers, i'll spread it around. so i hereby tag: goti, arka, sagnik, urmi, buchu, gypsynan, teleute and laura.